Are you a fan of "The Simpsons"? Do you find yourself quoting Homer, Bart, or any of the other hilarious characters on a daily basis? Well, you're in luck! We've scoured the depths of Springfield to bring you the ultimate list of the 80 best Simpsons quotes that are sure to make you laugh, reminisce, and maybe even ponder the meaning of life. From Homer's iconic "D'oh!" to Ralph's hilariously nonsensical statements, this list has it all.
But wait, there's more! Not only will we take you on a trip down memory lane with some of the most memorable quotes from one of the greatest animated shows of all time, but we'll also provide some commentary to help you relive the moments in a whole new way. So, sit back, grab a Duff Beer, and get ready to laugh your way through our list of the best Simpsons quotes. And who knows, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about life, love, and the importance of a good donut. Without further ado, let's dive into the wonderful world of "The Simpsons"!
80 Spectacular Quotes from "The Simpsons"
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"D'oh!" — Homer Simpson.
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"Mmm... donuts." — Homer Simpson.
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"Ay Caramba!" — Bart Simpson.
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"Don't have a cow, man." — Bart Simpson.
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"Excellent." — Mr. Burns.
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"Hi everybody!" — Dr. Nick Riviera.
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"I'm a lean, mean, speed thingy." — Flash.
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"I'm not a bad guy. I'm just misunderstood." — Sideshow Bob.
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"Mmm... forbidden donut." — Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
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"Oh, so they have internet on computers now." — Homer Simpson.
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"Release the hounds!" — Mr. Burns.
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"Thank you, come again." — Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
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"That's a paddlin'." — Jasper Beardly.
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"Woo Hoo!" — Homer Simpson.
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"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!" — Homer Simpson.
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"The goggles! They do nothing!" — Rainier Wolfcastle.
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"They taste like... burning." — Ralph Wiggum.
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"To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." — Homer Simpson.
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"Worst. Episode. Ever." — Comic Book Guy.
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"You don't win friends with salad." — Homer Simpson.
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"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." — Homer Simpson.
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"You'll have to speak up. I'm wearing a towel." — Homer Simpson.
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"You only move twice." — Hank Scorpio.
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"Eat my shorts!" — Bart Simpson.
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"Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix." — Comic Book Guy.
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"I choo-choo-choose you." — Ralph Wiggum.
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"I bent my Wookiee." — Ralph Wiggum.
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"You're not my supervisor!" — Cheryl Tunt.
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"I don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but I think unicorns are kickass!" — Milhouse Van Houten.
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"I'm seeing double here... four Krustys!" — Barney Gumble.
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"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day." — Homer Simpson.
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"Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves." — Homer Simpson.
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"Me fail English? That's unpossible." — Ralph Wiggum.
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"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking." — Ralph Wiggum.
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"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" — Homer Simpson.
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"S-M-R-T. I mean, S-M-A-R-T." — Homer Simpson.
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"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now." — Recording on phone.
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"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." — Homer Simpson.
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"Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? Now here's the tricky part: Oh, won't you rhyme with me?" — Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.
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"Ha ha!" — Nelson Muntz.
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"Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter." — Homer Simpson.
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"I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work." — Kent Brockman.
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"Ah, the Luftwaffe. The Washington Generals of the History Channel." — Rainier Wolfcastle.
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"I'll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business." — Mr. Burns.
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"If at first you don't succeed, give up." — Homer Simpson.
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"I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football game more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well, goodnight!" — Homer Simpson.
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"Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves." — Homer Simpson.
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"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen." — Homer Simpson.
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"Remember as far as anyone knows, we are a nice normal family." — Homer Simpson.
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"Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel." — Homer Simpson.
- “Do not touch Willie. Good advice.” — Groundskeeper Willie
- “It’s just a little airborne. It’s still good, it’s still good!” — Homer Simpson
- “I’m in danger.” — Ralph Wiggum
- “I can’t promise I’ll try, but I’ll try to try.” — Bart Simpson
- “Marge, I can't wear a pink shirt to work. Everybody wears white shirts. I'm not popular enough to be different!” — Homer Simpson
- “I was saying ‘Boo-urns.’” — Mr. Burns
- “Homer, is this how you pictured married life?” — “Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.” — Marge & Homer
- “I used to be with it, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I'm with isn't ‘it,’ and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary to me.” — Grandpa Simpson
- “Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!” — Ralph Wiggum
- “In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!” — Homer Simpson
- “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.” — Krusty the Clown
- “I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?” — Homer Simpson
- “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.” — Ralph Wiggum
- “I’m not easily impressed… wow, a blue car!” — Homer Simpson
- “Will you two shut up?! People are trying to commit suicide out here!” — Moe Szyslak
- “Now, I'm not saying your mother’s a liar, but she’s not exactly known for her honesty.” — Abe Simpson
- “I wash myself with a rag on a stick.” — Cletus Spuckler
- “This donut has purple in the middle. Purple is a fruit.” — Homer Simpson
- “It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie and one to listen.” — Homer Simpson
- “What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to end up back here anyway.” — Homer Simpson
- “I have three kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and three money?” — Homer Simpson
- “Everything's coming up Milhouse!” — Milhouse Van Houten
- “You’ve tried the best, now try the rest! Moe’s Tavern, home of the worlds smallest large screen TV.” — Moe Szyslak
- “Mmm... floor pie.” — Homer Simpson
- “Do you want to change your name to Homer Junior? The kids can call you HoJu!” — Homer Simpson
- “I’m allergic to bee stings. They cause me to, uh… die.” — Milhouse Van Houten
- “You know, Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn’t even notice.” — Marge Simpson
- “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.” — Homer Simpson
- “Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?” — Homer Simpson
- “Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons!” — Mr. Burns
Summing Up "The Simpsons"
So there you have it, folks! 80 of the best quotes from one of the greatest animated shows of all time. From catchphrases to silly ramblings, "The Simpsons" has given us so many memorable moments over the years. And while we may never agree on which episode is the best or which character is the funniest, we can all agree on one thing: "The Simpsons" is a true American classic that will always hold a special place in our hearts.
Plus, why not test your knowledge of TV figures with our quiz, Name That TV Dad Quiz?
